My dearest Jayda Grace...

Times have been tough these past few weeks. I barely recognize you lately because your attitude and demeanor has been so dark. You have been a very difficult little girl (that’s an understatement). I don’t know if it is just your age, or the new baby, or the fact that I was on bed rest and in the hospital for so long with others caring for you, or what...but lately, I have found myself referring to you as “Captain Evil” (not in your presence of course). I can’t begin to describe how hard it has been to be around you because you’ve been so mean.

I have yelled at you, put you in time out, spanked your bum, cried, screamed, prayed, and everything else in between. Nothing is working. Your attitude changes on a dime and you seem so unhappy. You whine, you cry, you disobey, you do the exact opposite of what I tell you to do, you have been behaving just downright nasty.

However, I love you more each day and really felt the need today to express my love for you at this exact stage. I guess I’m putting this on the blog partly so you can read this later and know how much I love you and partly to remind myself of the sweet, heavenly gifts that you bring to my life.

Jayda I love you more than words can describe. I love your sweet laugh, your bouncing blonde curls, your big blue eyes, your sweet-tiny dimpled hands, and the sounds of your feet running around our kitchen in your dress up heels. I love seeing you dance and lip sync to Queen’s “We are the Champions” (who requests Queen at 3 years old?? LOVE IT). The sweetest sound in the world is when you say “I love you mommy.” I adore the times you hold my hand and reach up to me with open arms, I cherish the quiet moments where we are alone and you snuggle up to be held and I truly savor each kiss. I am blessed to be the one to kiss away your tears and wipe away your hurts. I love that you need me and that you are mine. You are my soul, my life, my breath, my heart. Please know that regardless of how you feel or act at any given time I love you unconditionally and irrevocably. I love the sound of your voice, I love that you look just like your daddy, I love seeing you sneak in sweet kisses to your baby sister. I love you. I love you. I love you. Forever and ever.

I love you to the moon and back little Jayda Grace!
Xoxo,
Mom

Quick update and proof that Jayda will be a helpful big sister!

Things are great here! I am finally home from the hospital (after 6 long days) and am back to resting in my own bed. Sierra is still in NICU, but she's doing great. She just needs to eat, grow, and maintain her body temp and she should be home in no time. We can't wait to bring her home so we can all be together. It's difficult having one car, one toddler at home, Russ needing to work, me having blood pressure concerns which still make me really REALLY sick, and a baby in NICU...there's just not enough time in the day...yet we realize how blessed we are and wouldn't trade this for the world.

I just wanted to share the below picture of my sweet Jayda Grace. I went downstairs to get something today and when I walked back to my room I found Jayda sitting in my spot with the Breast Pump next to her. She had "hooked herself up" and was watching a movie on my lap top computer. When she saw me she smiled the sweetest little smile you'd ever want to see and said "look mommy, I'm pumping my boobies so I can get some food for my baby sister!" She was so proud of herself. She's so stinkin' cute!!!!!!

She's Here!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is with gratitude to the Lord that we welcome our new little daughter, Sierra Bella, to our family.

Sierra was born Monday night (March 16th) at about 11pm via an emergency c-section that was needed due to Cori having preeclampsia (high blood pressure). When we got to the hospital to have Cori checked out (she had a bad tummy ache, headache, felt like her heart was beating really hard, and was having a lot of contractions) her blood pressure was so high and they were concerned with the immediate risk of stroke or seizure. Her doctor made the call that we had to have the c-section right then to make sure Cori was okay.

Sierra came into the world, even though she was 6 weeks premature, kicking and screaming. It was the most beautiful sound you'd ever want to hear. She weighed in at 5.3lbs and 18 inches long. Although she currently lives in the NICU unit at the hospital, she has not needed any medication or breathing assistance. She eats well, breathes well, sleeps wells, and has been pretty good at maintaining her body temperature. They tell us she is doing fantastic and doesn't need much of anything other than time to grow. They expect her to be in the hospital for the next 3-6 weeks. She looks super tiny to us, but the nurses and doctors say she's a great size for being just under 34 weeks along. She has a little bit of dark hair around the crown of her head and her eyes are still too new to tell what the color will be. She coos at her mama when she's being held and sung to and she grasps her daddy's finger as he feds her. She has already brought us so much happiness in these past few days and we are beyond thankful to have her. She instantly became the love of our lives right along with her big sister, Jayda. We are eternally grateful to Heavenly Father for the gift of her life and her good health. She's our little miracle baby and after a rough pregnancy (and a year of trying to get pregnant to bring her here in the first place) we are all on cloud 9...Although Cori may be on cloud 12 now that her pain medication has finally kicked in!!

Jayda Grace hasn't met her little sister yet, nor will she be able to until Sierra can come home because NICU doesn't allow children under 12 into that area, but she is super excited to be a big sister. Jayda has brought such an unbelievable amount of joy to our lives and we can only imagine how much fun it will be to watch her become a sister, mentor, and friend to Sierra.

We can't thank you all enough for your well wishes, prayers, and help during this stressful, yet blissful time. We love you all and can't wait for you to meet little Sierra Bella!

With love and gratitude,

Russ, Cori, Jayda Grace and Sierra Bella

Stay Put Little Baby!

So, the bun-in-the-oven thinks she's done baking. I went into premature labor on Thursday night and have been in the hospital ever since. I'm only 31 weeks (and a few days) so she CANNOT come out right now. It's just too early.

Bed rest is pretty crappy. I've been on bed rest and some yucky medicine since last Tuesday trying to stop the contractions, but I was unsuccessful...so now I sit in the hospital all day staring at the ceiling. Good times.

I also have a pregnancy induced heart murmur (which they say is normal and will go away after I deliver), severe headaches (from the medicine), severe muscle aches (the medicine has made me shake pretty bad since Tuesday so my muscles are a bit tired), and a slew of other things that are making me miserable. It took 3 people and 5 "sticks" for them to get my IV in and they poked a valve so my arms are bruised and I feel pretty beaten up. The food is beyond horrible and they make me drink so much water that I have to get up every 15 minutes to pee (no exaggeration). I don't think "miserable" even begins to describe this situation. I miss being at home, seeing Jayda do her funny things throughout the day, and I miss a good nights sleep next to my wonderful hubby.

This pregnancy, like my pregnancy with Jayda, has been relatively sucky! I threw up at least 3 times a day for 5 months straight and now this? What is wrong with my body? As a woman, was I not divinely created to perform this exact task? This is ridiculous!

However, the say the baby looks healthy and they are doing everything they can to keep her inside. The end-goal, of having a healthy and happy baby, is the only thing that is important right now. This too shall pass. Who knew that my dreams of wanting a "few minutes to myself" where I don't have to work, or clean, or cook, or watch Jayda, or do laundry, etc would be answered this way? Be careful what you wish for, right?

Russ' mom, Rosemary, (the best mother-in-law in the entire world) will fly into town tomorrow to help take care of the family. She's so great and Jayda will be so happy to spend the time with her (and lets face it-Russ won't mind the meals cooked by his mama!)

My future little one better appreciate all this...but even if she doesn't I know that it will all be worth it the minute they place her in my arms.

Thanks to all of you for your help with Jayda (Heather, Julie, and Stephanie you guys are the best!) and prayers.

The sweetest sounds to mortals given are heard in Mother, Home, & Heaven!

Ahhhh my sweet mama. She came to stay for two weeks, but I held her hostage and she stayed for three! It was so nice to have help with Jayda, the house cleaning, the cooking, the shopping, the decorating, etc. It's was so great to have her here. We were all sad when she had to go home. Jayda cried the night she left and the following morning. I was bummed for days. Even Russ came home and said he missed seeing my mom here when he came home at night. We're so blessed to have family! She'll be back in about 8 weeks for the arrival of baby #2 and we'll be just as excited to see her then too!

She played in the mud with Jayda, ran around playing duck-duck-goose, and let Jayda do her hair (all things that this preggo mommy will have nothing to do with). Jayda was in absolute heaven.

When she wasn't watching my little one or helping take care of the house (by cleaning, organizing, etc) she was decorating the new nursery...and it's SOOOO CUTE!

Below are pictures of Jayda's room (Snow White mural) and the new nursery (garden theme). Its so nice to have her share her talents and help turn our rental house into a warm home.

Thanks for everything mom. We love you!

Jayda's Room @ our rental house in Fairfax, VA

Baby Girl #2 - Nursery Jayda's First Nursery @ our apartment in Fairfax, VA

It's quiet...too quiet.

So, working from home is pretty much the hardest thing ever. I work 6-8 hour days on the phone, computer, and blackberry WHILE AT THE SAME TIME watching, feeding, playing with, laughing with, crying over, yelling because of, and loving my little 3 year old (who, as everyone who as a 3 year old knows...is very high maintenance).

Have you ever talked on the phone with a group of 3 executives, 2 lawyers, and one assistant while your kids screams in the background at the dog for eating her snack? How about trying to terminate an employee for sexual harassment while your kid yells in the background that she's done pooping? Or, how about being in the middle of a training session where you are speaking via conference call to 15 people in a room who can't see you, but hear your voice from a box (very Charlie Angels but without the cute outfits or exciting adventure) when you realize...holy cow it's too quiet. Why don't I hear nose picking sounds or crayons on walls or jumping off furniture?....uh oh it must be something I don't want to know about.

So, I ask my assistant to cover a few topics of conversation for me and I put the phone on mute. "Jayda, what are you doing?" I ask.
No answer. Silence.
Again, I call "Jayda, honey what are you doing and where are you?"
Answer: "I don't know."

NOOOOOOO. The answer "I don't know" can mean two things: one, she knows shes doing something wrong and can't think of a good answer quick enough; and two: she really doesn't know what she's doing because it's so odd that she really has no words to explain. Either way...I'm not a fan of the "I don't know" answer.

So, with the phone still on mute I get up to go check on her and see a very naked little girl run out of the bathroom (which is off limits when she's alone) and past me with her hands held tight in front of her like she's holding something precious she can't possibly let go of.

I reach her. "Jayda, honey, open your hands."
"No. I can't" she says.
"Why" I ask.
"Because I don't want to lose Bunny's medicine" she replies.
I say, "that's okay. Bunny isn't sick anymore so we don't have to give her any more medicine. Just show me what's in your hands." (FYI, "bunny or bun bun" is her stuffed animal friend that has become Jayda's 5th appendage since she got the darn thing her first Easter 3 grimey years ago).

She slowly opens her hands and low and behold...we have about $100 - $120 worth of my contact lenses that she had opened up and scrunched around in her hands sweetly depositing muck, grime, snot, hairs, and dog fur all over. Before I can ask her what in the holy heck she is doing, this is what she starts rambling about...

"Mommy, bunny was very sick and needed some medicine and I'm her mommy and I had to take good care of her like you take care of me when I'm sick so I stuck these up her butt."

You know your a mom to a 3 year old when your first response to this is: "Honey we don't say "butt." She used "bum bum" for the rest of her story.

So, you're wondering: Does Cori Roth stick stuff up her kids butt when she's sick? The answer is no. However, Jayda has had three UTI's which she's received a total of 7 catheters for and she had some constipation issues which caused the doctor to threaten an enema (which wasn't needed). So, no I don't "stick stuff up her butt when she's sick," but I can appreciate her thought process. Okay, back to the story from my little ones mouth...

"So, bunny was sick and I stuck this medicine up her bum-bum to make her feel better. She needed A LOT of medicine so I had to go get more from the medicine place."

I say, "okay honey. thanks for telling me. Why are you naked?"
She answers, "I don't know, I got side licked" (what she meant to say is side-tracked).
I ask, "side tracked from what?"
Her answer, "I don't remember."

In the background I hear my assistant stalling as she waits for me to get back on the phone to handle the rest of my training session I'm conducting. I have enough time to kiss Jayda's head, mourn for my $100+ loss of contact lenses, shut the bathroom door, and throw Jayda a new outfit while I am completely saddened that my kid has to self entertain by sticking stuff up stuffed animals anal glands while I work from home.

I take the rest of my call and 90 minutes later I spend some time with Jayda. It's then, as she's cuddled in my arms that I realize that I am sooooooo beyond blessed to work from home to see her do these crazy, annoying, yet endearingly cute things that I'd miss if I was in an office.

I'm so blessed to work from home. I love my 3 year old. I love my life. Thank heavens for the little laughs that make it all worth while.!

Jayda is a Sunbeam and shines for us each day!!!

Our little Jayda Grace is no longer in nursery at church.
She has moved up to Primary and now goes to the Sunbeam class. This means that instead of playing with bubbles and running around with friends, she sits in a class, learns to act reverently, gets lessons about Jesus and Heavenly Father, and interacts with the older kids.

Sunbeams are supposed to be 3 by a certain date and Jayda missed that date by a few weeks so she technically should be in nursery for another year. However, Russ and I asked our bishop to let her advance so she could stay with her good friends and start to learn about the Gospel. Our wishes were granted and it was bittersweet. I was overcome with sadness thinking about my little one growing up so fast. I must admit that Russ and I dropped her off at her class on that first day as a Sunbeam and I cried for about an hour (granted I'm pregnant and hormonally overloaded). She however was thrilled! She loves her teacher, Sister Clark, and has already come home with stories about what shes learned (our body is a temple and Jesus loves her)! She is such a sweet, sweet little girl and Russ and I LOVE that she learns about the gospel and Jesus Christ from other adults while sitting with her peers. There is nothing more special than to hear her talking to her "friends" in her room (ie. Snow White, Peter Pan, and King Arthur) as she tells them about her Sunbeam class and sings "Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam to Shine for Him Each Day!" She is such a gift from our Heavenly Father!!!

Here's Jayda telling her daddy all about her exciting first day as a sunbeam! They're such good buddies! She's one lucky little lady (we both are)!