Jayda-isims

Jayda lets a really loud "toot" while in the car yesterday. Then 2 minutes later she did it again with an even bigger one. I look at her in the rear view mirror and while rolling her eyes and letting out a deep sigh says, "Ugh. I can't take my butt anywhere."

___________

At the dinner table Jayda asks:

J: Mommy...am I like you or daddy?

Me: You're like both of us. You're half daddy and half mommy because we both made you with our hearts and bodies.

J: (exasperated while saying) How can I be half dad if I'M A WOMAN (she yells while slamming her fist down on the table).

___________

I picked Jayda up from school today and she was quite melancholy. This was our conversation about why she was so sad:

Jayda: MOM! I had the worst day of my life today! I'm just heartbroken!

Me: WHY?? What' happened at school?

Jayda: Christopher doesn't want to be my boyfriend anymore! He has been my boyfriend my whole life...for like almost a week since I was 4 years old and I don't even remember being 4 years old...that's how long he's been my boyfriend and now he's being mean. It hurt me bad!

Me: I'm sorry baby. Did it hurt your heart?

Jayda: Yes. And it hurt me here, and here, and here, and here (each "here" was said as she did the sign of the cross over her body). Remember when Jesus died on the cross?

Me: Yes.

Jayda: Well it hurt me like that!...ONLY WORSE!

Me: (dying of laughter): I'm so sorry honey. That's really tragic.

Jayda: I know! And it's also sad because he stabbed me with a pencil in my nickel (which is what jayda calls her nipples)! I had to have an ice pack and have my teacher look at my boobie.

Me: What? Were you okay? Why would he do that to you?

Jayda: I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.

_____________

Jayda got a new necklace with three charms...

Jayda: "Mom, see this key charm? Do you know what it reminds me of?"

Me: "what babe?"

Jayda: "the keys to the gospel." "and do you know what this heart charm reminds me of?"

Me: "what?"

Jayda: "It reminds me that Jesus loves me so much." "and do you know what this peace sign charm reminds me of?"

Me (as I prepare to hear more about jesus or church): "What does it remind you of?"

Jayda: "it reminds me to NOT watch Hanna Montana because it's so trashy."

__________

Russ and I were getting ready to go on a date the other night and she says, "I'm so glad you guys are leaving because I need a serious break from you."

Russ: "You do? Why do you need a break from us?"

Jayda: "because you guys are killing me today."

__________

Jayda did something really nice for her sister without being asked and cleaned her room without being asked so I surprised her and gave her a dollar bill as a reward. She got a big smile on her face and said, "thanks mom! I'm saving up to buy a cat when Riley dies."

_________

My mom is visiting and Jayda gets so excited that she forgets I'm even alive. I gave her a hug yesterday morning and said "Jayda, I miss you. I haven't had any time with you since Gram has been here because you just spend all your time with her. I wanna snuggle." To which Jayda replied, "sorry mom. life is full of disappointment."

_________

I was on my way out the door to present to about 100 teenage girls on how to dress modestly and fashionably. As I'm running out the door, Jayda says "mom. is that what you are wearing?"

I reply "yes."

Jayda then says, "interesting choice" and walks away.

Great. Now I'm second guessing my decision because of what a 5 year old said. (and yes, in case you're wondering...I ran upstairs and changed!)

interesting choice.

_________

I took Jayda shopping last Friday night for a backpack for kindergarten. After going to about 5 stores she says "these backpacks are lame! I just wanna take a coach bag."