Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Tough Times, Scary Times, Exciting Times

It's been a while since my last post. Truth be told it's been a really rough 6 weeks.

Working from home has been one of the greatest blessing in my entire life. I feel beyond blessed to have been able to help put my hubby through school and help with our finances WHILE being at home with my sweet babies. I make about 60% less than I would if I worked outside of the home and yet I guarantee I work 60% harder. However, it's been a sacrifice I've been willing to make because I've been the one to kiss my babies boo-boo's, put them down for their naps, and play peek a boo during lunch.

HOWEVER...I feel like I'm drowning. I'm spread so thin with being a wife, mom, AND full-time executive working from home that I often feel like I can't do anything really well. I can't excel at being a wife. I can't be the kind of mom I truly want to be. I can't really give all that I should to work because I am trying to draft memos, create policies, and speak with lawyers on the phone while wiping butts and making snacks at the same time. Difficult does not begin to describe what working from home has been the last 4+ years.

I'm just done. I'm pooped. I'm drained. I'm depressed. I'm done quieting my kids for work calls. I'm done telling my sweet girls to wait for a snack, or to talk to me, or to even pee because I'm in the middle of a work task. I'm done kissing my hubby hello when he gets home from work and then not seeing him again for the rest of the night because I'm working till 11pm or later. I want to have 4 appendages. Not 5. That means that the blackberry that has become my 5th limb needs to be cut off!

There's no work-life balance.

It's got to stop.

And so it will.

Today, after 6 years as Director of Human Resources for Staff Pro, I resigned my position. I resigned my position to be a full-time stay-at-home mom and full-time wife.

I am more excited than words can express. I am more terrified than tongue can tell. It's gonna be tough cutting our income by 40%. It's gonna be scary relinquishing that part of me that has become so much a part of who I am. But it's gonna be exciting. Exciting to give my all to Russ, Jayda, and Bella. And maybe, just maybe, even give a little bit of me back to me.

5 comments:

Stephie said...

Oh Cori, I'm got teary reading this: I AM SO, SO HAPPY FOR YOU! I know it won't be easy in some ways, but I also know (or at least had a glimpse) how hard these last few years have been for you. You deserve to have your burden lightened; this is so exciting! Congrats! Lots of love, Stephanie

Elizabeth Moon said...

:) Best of luck, Cori!
I am sure you have been a better wife and mother than you have given yourself credit for, but I know how important balance is and I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

You need a vacation!
Want me to watch your babies?!

Cardon Family said...

I am so happy for you! I am sure that it is stressful, but a relief at the same time. You are an amazing Mother and wife and don't ever let yourself tell you otherwise!:)

Debra Porter Dickerson said...

Dearest Niece,
You make such great decisions.
Love,
Aunt Debbie

Angie said...

Congrats! Quiting work was the hardest thing I've ever done. I had a period of mourning. It lasted more than a year. It was SOOO hard. It took five years to redefine myself and find the "me" inside without work, but not once did I ever think it wasn't worth it. Still, it was the right choice for me. I never doubted though I yearned for my old life. You'll make it. You can do anything. I think you could probably fly if you wanted too. You are amazing!! Congrats.